Where beer comes from

(On Facebook chat, today)

Courtney:

ask me any question

and maybe i'll know the answer

 

Heather:

how is beer made

be specific

(I was born to be an evil professor)

 

Courtney:

so first

you have barley (or sometimes wheat or corn or something like that)

and the barley is dry

so you gotta trick it into thinking it's time to grow

so you put it in warm water (i dont know the specific temperature)

and you basically steep it like tea

and that's called "mashing in"

then you strain the liquid from the solid

and the solid goes to farmers and shit

and the liquid is called wort

so you take the wort and you bring it to a boil

and then that's when you start adding hops & other spices

if you add hops at the beginning, it'll affect the taste

if you add it at the end, it'll affect aroma

and anywhere in the middle affects both

usually beer gets at least 3 additions of hops

then you cool it down and put in the yeast

and there's ale yeast which makes ales and lager yeast which makes lagers

and you let the beer ferment for 2-3 weeks for ales and 4-6 weeks for lagers

and fermenting is when the yeast eats the sugars in the beer (which is from the wort) and digests it into alcohol and CO2

and then you're like

SHIT

NOW I HAVE BEER

and that's how you make beer

 

Heather:

That was a very thorough answer

sadly it is wrong

beer is made by beer faeries

who live in the magical land of alcohol

-----

And that's where beer comes from.

 

I use this conversation (don't hate on me if it's not completely accurate, I haven't reviewed my notes from my Certified Beer Server course in a couple of days) as a segue (not to be confused with a Segway, which I have never ridden before, sadly) into an idea I've been toying with for awhile now, which is, namely, to put an end to this blog and launch a new one.  This blog has been good to me, but I have not always been good to it, so I think as I enter year two of post-grad life, it might be time to transition to a more food & beverage focused blog (and city and humor-focused, obviously, because I'm hilarious) that I will ideally more consistently update.

The only thing holding me back?  I have no idea what to call this thing.  Oh, and my standard phobia of anything which causes change in any way.  Typical.

But if and when this happens, I will certainly post a note on this blog, so all of you people (aka, my Facebook friends) will know what the dealio is.  I know that's really important to all of you.

Love, the greatest beer expert you know.

Brooklyn Brewery & Mardi Gras

I started making dinner tonight, and then things happened, and now Heather is on her way over to enjoy this lovely dinner with me.  So I have a little time to blog about things that happened a week ago.  Because my blog is TIMELY like that, people.

About two months ago, the ladies at Cornerstone enjoyed a lovely holiday party that included a small batch Brooklyn Brewery tour.  And I was like, man, my friends would really like that!  Too bad they only have them on weekdays, since we all work on weekdays.  And then this thing called President's Day happened, where you celebrate presidents, and you also get a day off from work.  And I was like, guys!  This is the perfect opportunity!

So we went on a Brooklyn Brewery small batch tour.

Welcome to the Brooklyn Brewery!  This is the part where they serve beer.  Not where they brew it.  Mostly because there is a bar here, and not a bunch of brew tanks.

We all listened attentively as our nameless tour guide (nameless either because he didn't introduce himself or I wasn't paying attention) told us about the history of the Brewery, gave us a rundown of the tour, and informed us that we were, in fact, crashing the Brewery, since it was technically closed.

Look!  There he is!  Our nameless, yet informative, tour guide.

Then we began a tasting of four beers.  This is Andrea holding the... wait a minute... I can remember it.  No, I swear I can.  I know what it is.  It's the.  The.  Uh.

The Radius!  Because it was originally only meant to be served within the radius of the Brewery.  See? I remembered.  It tastes like banana, FYI.

Kristine does not, in fact, like beer, so she didn't really feel the way the rest of us felt when it came to drinking the beer.

Here's the rundown of what was on tap that night, with our nameless tour guide and Erin, Tasting Room Manager, getting ready to serve the next beer.

When it came time to serve the Local 1 (a naturally carbonated, super delicious beer) I said, Kristine.  I will make you try this beer.  So she geared up...

...she went for it...

...and the result was... questionable.

Nope, no longer a question.  She just did not like it.

So she gave the rest to us.  Whee!!

Look at these beer connoisseurs with the Mary's Maple Porter.

Time to see how beer is made!  Hello, big tank.

Teach us more about beer, nameless tour guide.

More learning.

After the walking part of the tour, Andrea, Heather, and I each got another beer to try.  I tried the Brown Ale.  It was yum.

Look at those pretty faces.

Look!  I got in front of the camera too!

Anyways, we finished up our beer and headed to get some delicious Polish food at Andrea's favorite restaurant in Greenpoint, Karczma, which was worth it, despite the cold.

Here's some white borscht with a side of mashed potatoes.  I tried it, and it was delish.

I got the biggest pork chop known to man with mashed potatoes and cabbage.  Like, I said, "can I please have the biggest pork chop in the world?" and they were like, "sure!  Here it is."  Because I get things done like that.

Then we went home because it was the end of dinnertime, and pretty soon it was the next day.  Do you know what the next day was?  Mardi Gras!

My photos are incredibly lacking from Mardi Gras, but we went to Ninth Ward, at 2nd Ave between 11th and 12th.  We got fried pickles to share, hurricanes (of course), and I got a debris dip sandwich.  I'm not sure if it was actual debris, but it was spicy and delicious.

Brendanbrendanbrendanbrendan take a picture with me Brendan!

(He did)

And then a week happened.  And now it's now!

Happy Monday,

Courtney