Phased Out

I survived my first week of work!  Hurray!  Post-graduate success seems attainable!

I took the train home after work today and found my parents and all three sets of grandparents at our kitchen table because tomorrow is my brother and my epic graduation party!  We are definitely having a lot of people over, but evidently my mother thinks we're hosting an army.  We have 24 pounds of pork for pulled pork, six gallon freezer bags of chicken, 38 sausages for sausage and peppers, and 3 pans of lasagna.  That is not including the appetizers, dessert, s'mores, a keg, wine, and... oh wait.  A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!  It almost seems too good to be true.

So, the potential that I will be live-blogging from my party tomorrow is fairly high.  Just warning you now.

Anyways, I pretty much packed my stuff up last week, but when I walked into my room, it looked about the same.

But then I looked to the right (err, left in this backwards PhotoBooth photo).

And I was like, damn, this sucks.  I hate change.  It sucks.  But I do love moving to Manhattan.  Well, I think, so far at least.

And then I saw this.

My brother has already started to move his shit into my room.  Really??  I'VE BEEN GONE ONE WEEK!  It's probably just a... coping mechanism... because he misses me... yeah...

Whatever.  I get to drink tomorrow.  WHEEEE!

Gotta rest off for partyyyy!
Courtney

Last Friday Night

Oh hey, my title is the name of a Katy Perry song.  OH WAIT AND IT'S SUCH A FITTING DESCRIPTION OF TONIGHT!!  Tonight is my last Friday night in the CT, and I'm celebrating it with mah girlies at a sleepover and bar night.  OH AND IT'S BECKY'S BIRTHDAY!!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECKY!!  You're old.  Stop being not 21 anymore.

I'm bringing all the alcohols left over from my booze fridge at school.  DO I SEE AN ORIGINAL WATERMELON FOUR LOKO IN THAT HAND??  Why, yes, I do.  Thanks Chris and Rachel!  I still haven't drunk (drinken?  drank?  what?) it.  Sorry.

Also, I got some hairs cut.  Youlike??

This is what my room looks like.  I'm not done packing.  All of those duffel bags and bins are clothes.  I think I have a problem.  I will never stop buying clothes.  Except for the fact that I'm going to be poor soon.  I would sell them for the cash moneys if I didn't buy all my clothes from, like, Target.

Time to go party, people!  I do not apologize in advance for any drunk texts you may receive!

Lurve,
Courtney

Today I Did Nothing Of Importance

I woke up.

I gave someone some musicals off of my iTunes.

I showered.

(Not in that order)

I ate some miso soup.

I put away some clothes.

I temporarily thought that a bag of my clothes was missing and I ran around and freaked out because I thought it was when a bag of my shoes was stolen all over again.

The bag of clothes was in my kitchen cart which makes no sense.

Uhmmm... what else did I do?

Is that really all I did?

...I watched Bridezillas...

...not ashamed...

OH AND I APPLIED FOR A JOB!!  Most productive event of the day.

I've lost count of the amount of jobs I've applied for.  Probably like 70.  Or more.

I went to Friendly's with my parents.

I got all cranky at my mom because I told her I was fat and she just told me to start going to the gym.

We went to the gym and found out it would be $99 for the summer but $73 for a month and HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL??

...so which one do I choose?!?!?

I watched a bunch of TV shows.

Now I'm watching Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior.

It's not as good.

Why is Penelope Garcia on this one too??

Sometimes TV spin-offs don't make sense.

I vow to make tomorrow more productive.

Now I will go to bed.

...but not right away because Criminal Minds, even though it's a spin-off, is still creepy.

Goodnight!
Courtney

The Real World: A Metaphorical Hypothesis

So it's really no question that I'm obsessing about what I'm going to do in exactly 29 days.  Unless the world really is going to end on May 21st, in which case I should just live it up while I still can.  I'm not really one to take my chances, though, so I think I'll keep sending out resumes at this point.

But thank goodness tonight I decided to go to Friday's with my buds and meet up with some high school friends Nick and Mike, the latter of which decided that he needed to educate us all about the real world, seeing as we were obviously unprepared to experience it.  Really, I'm glad that I got some preparation, because we weren't quite understanding the true gravity of the real world experience.  So, Mike decided to break it down for us.

What is the transition from college to the real world like then, you ask?

Why, it is equal to... a birth.

Now, stopping there may not seem like such a revolutionary concept.  But the analogy did not stop there.  You see, we emerge from the birth canal of college into the world, and we are attached to our placenta of student loans by an unbreakable umbilical cord (which actually doesn't make much sense because umbilical cord are cut, like immediately after birth.  But whatever).  And we spend 40 years "hacking away" at our student loan umbilical cord until, finally, we cut through it, in whatever state it finally ends up in.

Are you grossed out?  I hope so.  Because I definitely was.  And I didn't even give you the full details.

But all in all, Friday's (FRIDAY!  FRIDAY!  GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!) turned out to be a much more eventful time than we originally planned.  And we even recorded a rendition of Rebecca Black's "Friday" on my camera, complete with commentary on the lyrics (YOU COULD HAVE PICKED ANY SEAT, REBECCA BLACK!  WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THE ABSOLUTE WORST ONE??), which will be posted ASAP, despite protests from Becks and Colleen.

Hey, after tonight... maybe moving home in May won't be so bad after all.

Oh but hey, if you're reading this and want to offer me a job in the city, uhm, please do.  Fridays at Friday's cannot be my future forever.

Love,
Courtney

Note: Mike, if you are reading this and making fun of it, the fact that you are reading it right now negates your judgment of this blog.  And if you're not reading it, well... we'll never know, will we now?

Back to Business

Okay, so let's get back into this blogging business...

Oh hey.  How have you been?  Good??  Excellent.  That's what I like to hear.  Enough about you; let's talk about me (it's my blog, right?).

I did this show called The Wild Party and it was really awesome.  I haven't really accepted that the show is over.  It's hard to accept things when you blatantly refuse to.

I also haven't accepted that it's not okay to parade around naked all the time.  This show definitely gave me skewed perceptions about appropriateness in public.  I have to remind myself that, in general, one is required to be clothed at all times.

Ignore the weird angle of this photo.  Just focus on the clear happiness of the people in the picture.

Raymond McLeod, who played Eddie in the original cast of The Wild Party, and his family came to see the show on Saturday night, which was super awesome.  He even took a picture with our group of misfits after the show.


WARNING!  The next picture is gross.  Not really gross.  But pretty gross.  It's of my foot.

I had many ailments during the run of the show (pink eye, mono/bronchitis?, slipping in my hallway, cut on my foot, and either the bubonic plague or dry hands from sanitizing too much [verdict is out]), so it was only fitting that I got this lovely thing during the last show.  Thank you, Mike Dahlgren and John Schule, for injuring not only yourselves but me as well during your fight scene.

The good part was that it was only a hematoma (bad bruise) and got better quickly, but allowed me to get script erasing duty during strike, rather than my customary general cleaning.

I've been painting because I'm taking a painting class, and that's generally what you do.  This is a master copy of Cezanne.  I had to use all the colors and it was difficult.  I did it while watching Jeopardy!, Glee, and The Office, so it was a pretty productive night.

This is a still life of apples and bowls.  It got hung in the hallway.  It was too big for the refrigerator.  Joke??  Get it??

This is Gupta, my fish.  I got him at Petland Discounts two Saturdays ago.  I named him the following Wednesday.  He was dead when I came home on Friday.

We had a fish funeral.  Chris Ingrao sang Ave Maria as he floated down the toilet bowl.  It was a fitting tribute to the six days we spent together.

Jenny Dorso says that if I had named him Pinky, he wouldn't have died.  I resent that suggestion.

I have dreams about acquiring new small animals and being unable to take care of them.  Also, I'm getting a new fish tomorrow.

In final news, did you know that in Somers, Connecticut, Christmas lasts until March?  Apparently it does.  Especially when your father takes the Christmas tree outside, only to have it be covered by a snowstorm, and another snowstorm, and another one, until it's March and you have a Christmas tree in your backyard.

We live near farms.  Nobody notices a stray pine tree.

Tomorrow I'm heading back to the Bronx to do laundry and pack and then head out to NEW ORLEANS with Miss Jen Lavalle for Senior Spring Break 2011.  Here comes trouble.  And 75 degree weather!

YEEEEAHHH!!!

Love,
Courtney

PS: That whole playing the guitar thing?  Uhm yeah.  I kind of forgot about it.  Whoops.

Hometime

This TV is from the future.  It looks like the cast of Glee IS IN MY LIVING ROOM!  Wait... maybe they are in my living room.

That would be.  The.  Best.  Ever.  Especially when Carol Burnett is guest starring.  But they're not.  Darn.

Things I will be doing over break:
- Watching the future TV
- Shopping
- Online shopping
- Blogging
- Cooking
- Eating
- Playing with my cat
- Taking funny pictures with my cat
- Annoying my cat
- Not caring that I'm annoying my cat
- Not doing homework
- Seeing Harry Potter (FINALLY)
- Having fam time
- Hanging out with my buddies
- Having AmCo time
- Resting my liver
- Sleeping
- Sleeping
- Sleeping

Uh.  I think that's it.  Oh, and texting.  Yeah, because I just can't help that.

Happy Thanksgiving break!!!

Love and sweatpants,
Courtney

Twilight Party, Part Two

This is a continuation of yesterday's Twilight party summary, in which I further exhibited my level of inappropriateness.  I expect that you all are used to this by now, but I must warn you... the following images may leave you disturbed.

Let's just get to it, then.

Everyone really liked their Twilight plates, so they couldn't just give them up.  Therefore, the people pictured above decided to wash them.

I will not voice my thoughts on this decision.  I will just let you form your opinions yourselves.

Oh, what?  You said you think that they're a little over-obsessed?  Oh good, we agree then.

I'm just kidding.  I love you all.

But you're just as crazy as me.

Some of our biggest Jacob friends really wanted to show their affection for him.

Joanna, on the other hand, was stuck with an Edward plate, and she was not too happy about her fate.

Erin and Colleen had no sympathy for her.  They're really the "rip the Band-aid off" kind of people.

Next, there was a Twilight board game.  We were all too tired and have too short of attention spans to actually play the game in its entirety, but we did have fun looking at the cards.

This was, by far, the grossest one.  Thank you to the wardrobe designer who decided to make Rob Pattinson look like a yucky fish.  I don't know why that's what I think about when I see this pictures, but I just feel like it's what he looks like.  A pale, limp, yucky fish.

If Rob Pattinson ever read this, he might be offended.  Sorry Rob!  I blame your makeup designer.  I met you once in person and you weren't that pale, so I believe that you can look better than this picture.

-----

Remember when I talked about disturbing images?

These are them.

You have been warned.

Uhm... there was a life-sized Jacob cardboard cutout.  This meant trouble.

I got a little creepy.

And then I got a little inappropriate...

...really inappropriate.

I really should not be allowed in public.  I'm glad these pictures aren't brighter than they already are.

-----

Thanks, my lovely Somers ladies, for an endlessly entertaining night.  And I'm sorry for posting these pictures a month late.  You're probably used to my procrastination already, though.

Love and life-sized cardboard cutout mania,

Courtney

Twilight Party, Part One

One night before we all left for school, my friend Joanna had a little get-together.  But this was no ordinary get-together.

This was a Twilight party.

Okay, so yes, I've seen the Twilight movies.  However, no real Twilight fan should actually watch these movies with me.  I will only make you feel bad.  I mocked the first one endlessly.  It was literally the funniest movie I had ever seen.  It was that bad.

The second one was a little better.  I only mocked it moderately.  And I enjoyed when Jacob took off his shirt.

To my great surprise, I actually liked the third movie.  Kristen Stewart's acting improved significantly, and even Rob Pattinson was less difficult to watch.  And there was a lot more Jacob nudity, which was a huge plus.

Joanna, on the other hand, is a humongous Twilight fan and loves all of the movies and the books.  The only thing she loves more than Twilight is Harry Potter, which I wholeheartedly understand.  But even I was not prepared to the extent that this party would be Twilight-ified.

Here is part one of the evidence...

Our normal ice-cream pig-out was accompanied by Twilight party plates.  I knew that we were in trouble.  This is Jacob.

I wished that Jacob's plate included a close-up of his eight-pack abs, but I loved my plate anyways.  Maybe a little too much...

There were also much more inferior Edward plates.  Just look at those beady eyes.  Yuck to the max.

There was only one way that this situation could play out...

A Twilight party plate showdown.

Edward, what do you think you're doing here?  Clearly these ladies like me more... why do you think there are five Edward plates and one Jacob plate left?  Puh-lease.

Oh, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.  Ladies love my freakishly pale and sparkly complexion, greasy hair, and sunken-in eyes.  I don't know why they would ever want a dirty werewolf like you.

Things started to get more intense.

YOU WILL NEVER BE AS PALE AND SPARKLY AS ME!

HEY, NICE ABS, BUDDY... OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!!  HA HA HA!

*Scuffle, scuffle, scuffle*

A-HA-HA!  Vanquished, evil vampire.

Now we shall eat some cake on the loser.

Yeah, I'll bet you really like the cold now that you have ice cream on your face, you cold-blooded creature, you.

Mmmm, that ice cream looks quite nommy.  Why don't we just take a little bite?

Here, Jacob, want some?  Nommmmms!

Crying Edward looks bloody now.  That's what you get for trying to sparkle during my dessert time.

Trash can.  The ultimate shame.

-----

Do you think that that's all?  Oh, no, no no, my friends.  It would not be a true Twilight party without much, much more.

Stay tuned tomorrow...

Love and Twilight-dom,

Courtney

Need a Job?

You can move to Somers.  If you majored in tree climbing, that is.


Somers never fails to entertain me.

More from the Memory Box

If you read yesterday's post about my SHS Drama Club memories that I pulled out of my junk cabinet, you'll know that I'm making a futile attempt to clean out my room.  If you didn't, read it now.

The following are photos and paper clippings that I also found in the cabinet.  I think that you will find them amusing.

Ready?  Let's go!

--

That's me, seven years old, right after my first leading role onstage.  I was Gretel in Hansel and Gretel.  To the left is my adorable brother Jonathan, and to the right is my good high-school friend-and-costar Kevin, who played Hansel and who subsequently played many leading roles in our shows throughout high school.  He's a cool Somers native- turned- New Yorker like me now, but he's downtown at NYU, so he's hipper than I am.

But I'm in the Bronx, so I can beat everyone up.  Just kidding.  Please don't hit me.

And, for your information, this was actually my second play in my life.  In the second grade I was in Miss Peterson's class play Shirley Holmes and the FBI, in which I played the role of Mallory.  I had exactly six lines and I picked the part because Mallory was the name of a character in The Babysitter's Club, which I loved.

We've established that I'm a nerd, right?

This is a newspaper clipping from my senior year of high school, and yes, that lovely couple is Hansel and Gretel, all grown up.  The incredibly flattering outfits are courtesy of the Somers High School Jazz Choir.  I miss the Jazz Choir.  I don't miss the dress.

Why didn't someone warn me that in four years I would be regretting my unfortunate bangs and pasty white skin?  And yes, I know that I'm short.  And yes, I know that I still have pasty white skin.  But I got rid of the bangs, thank god.

Here's an article from the seventh grade about our Destination Imagination team.  See those medals??  Eh?  Eh?  We won our division in Connecticut and went onto the international competition in Tennessee.  Man, I've never seen so much orange in my life than at the U of Tennessee.

(I'm in the back row, all the way on the right.  Can anyone say, "awkward years?"  I look like a frog.)

I don't remember what paper this was in, but it's about the community theatre show I did at the beginning of my junior year of high school with three other high school friends.  I'm in the bottom left picture, wearing the unfortunate red shirt, with my partner in crime Maureen (her real name is Amanda).

Story time: One time, in high school, we were at a singing competition and convinced this guy that Courtney and Amanda were our middle names and Joanne and Maureen were our first names, but we went by our middle names because we were named after our mothers.  He believed us.

The real reason behind our nicknames?  We're Rentheads and named eachother after the lesbian lovers.  That's what theatre people do.

--
The following pictures I have chosen of myself for a specific reason.  I shall tell you why at the end.

Throwing a softball at the Senior Dunk Tank at the Four Town Fair.  I missed.

In Kevin's basement, likely waiting to play Sims 2 on his computer, because that's how I do.

On the Senior float in the Four Town Fair parade.  I'm in the white, on the top.  To my right are my high school friends Alison and Connell (that's his last name), and to my left is my high school boyfriend Nick.  He takes professional wrestling classes and Joe and my college friends like him better than me.  I've accepted this fact.

Our float theme?  "Seniors of the '07 Seas."  HOW EFFING CLEVER IS THAT?!?

At Bigalow Hollow, where we used to picnic and swim and try to make campfires.  I was trying to do the sprinkler dance move.  I failed.

--
Now, why were these specific pictures chosen from the many high school ones that I could have chosen?

Because they establish that I have always been completely and certifiably insane.  I'm so ridiculous.  And very little of that has changed.

That concludes our trip down Courtney's memory lane.  Please visit the gift shop on your way out.

Love to all of the people from my past,
Courtney