I Want to Be Internet Famous

All these people who are Internet famous are like, "one day I was living my normal boring life and I had this random idea and then I was famous and I can't believe it this is so crazy."  Like the Pioneer Woman.  Or Texts From Last Night.  Or Amy's other BFF Teresa who has this website called My Mom is a Fob, which is actually really hilarious, and now she has a book deal and can afford a way better apartment than me.  And I just ask myself... why can't I be one of those people??

Or this girl, who created a YouTube channel, in, like, March, and is now mad viral and famous.  Plus, I want her to be my friend because we have so many things in common.  LIKE being in our early adulthood.  In New York City.  Living in tiny-ass apartments.  Drinking a lot.  Saying funny shit.  Being slightly nerdy.  ALL OF THESE THINGS!  She made My Drunk Kitchen and it's really effing hilarious.  This is my favorite episode because it's about tacos and I love tacos and margaritas.

I don't want to be Internet famous because of the fame or the money (okay, a little bit, maybe).  I want to be Internet famous because I really love external validation most of the time.  Why do you think I have this blog where I just talk about whatever I want all the time?  I'm not gonna come back and read this crap (well, except for maybe the Jorge incident).  I want you people to read my blog, think it's awesome, and then tell me that.  And you do, sometimes.  And I love you for that.

So really, people... help me think of something.  My last name is a rap slang term, for crying out loud.  It just needs to happen.

I'M READY TO SHINE!
Lurve,
Courtney

Lazy Monday

I need to learn to wear more practical shoes when planning on standing up for 4 hours at a time after a full day at work.  Also, I think that my pajamas, scented socks, and heating blanket in my bed are contributing to the fact that I may fall asleep while writing this blog entry.  I currently want to bake, paint a picture, and learn to play the guitar, but I'm too tired to get out of this very comfy pillow top bed.  Such is my life.

I think that the Northeast needs to stop snowing right now because if it uses all of its snow up this week, there will be no snow left to give me a snow day when I get back to school.  This logic is sound, in case you were wondering.  And I need to have snow days this semester because when there are snow days, we watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer because it is cold and we have nothing better to do.  Andrea, Heather and I are trying to watch all seven seasons before we graduate.  Currently, we are on season six, after three and a half years at Fordham.  We really need some snow days.

Speaking of Buffy, I read this article on MSNBC saying that apparently a bunch of religious groups believe that the second coming of Christ will be on May 21, 2011.  The first thing I have to say to these people is, did you even see the movie 2012??  Obviously, that movie is an accurate depiction of the end of the world, and it is not happening until December of 2012.  Get with it.

I realize that the previous sentence had nothing to do with Buffy.  Just wait a second.

Second of all, do you know what is actually occurring on May 21, 2011?  Graduation day.  Aka, the real apocalypse.  The end of the world.  Done.  Over.  Forever.  However, despite the nervous tic I have developed thinking about that awful day, I am laughing because I just have visions of graduation day looking like this (go to minute mark 3:11):

If Mayor Bloomberg is scheduled to be our commencement speaker, I'm hiding a crossbow under my cap and gown.

Speaking of dumb things and online articles, there was apparently a rumor that Facebook was shutting down on March 15th.  Not only am I shocked that I did not hear this earlier, I am also surprised that, for once, a Facebook charging money/shutting down/etc article made actual news.  Like, CNN.  Which immediately denied the rumors (big surprise) and quieted the fears of obsessive Americans everywhere.  So then I stopped hyperventilating.

But really, why would you not trust news from a reliable source like the Weekly World News??  I mean, they didn't spread a rumor about a half-man, half-bat living in a cave in the Midwest or anything.  And even if they had, it was obviously a true story.  If it wasn't a true story, they wouldn't have made a musical out of it, right?

My wisdom is endless.

To conclude, I would like to leave you with this song.  I am currently obsessed with it.

 Your life is so much better now.

You're welcome,
Courtney

Christmas Cat

Merry belated Christmas!  I hope you had lots of food, family, and presents.  Unless you were bad this year.  Then I hope you got nothing.  Just kidding.

Santa came to our house and brought me a Kitchenaid mixer.  I plan on doing nothing but baking for the next three weeks.  If you live in Connecticut, you will probably be receiving baked goods sometime soon because I will most likely make enough to cover the whole state.  It's not a very big state.

I tried to make a Christmas cat.

He didn't like that very much.

But he did like his catnip.

So much so, in fact, that I took a video of him.

Don't mind me being weird in the background.  I just do that sometimes.

Freako.  I guess he goes with the rest of our family.

There's supposed to be a BLIZZARD today!  What a perfect day for BAKING!!

Love and Christmas,
Courtney

This is My Life

I don't have much to say about my life right now except for that I have an accounting test today and I am very tired and I am THIS CLOSE to walking out of my graphic design class because of exhaustion and lack of creativity.  But mostly, I have this to say:



I'm so glad that my friends understand me.

Love,
Courtney

Bronx Courtney is Back

My eight million bags are packed, I have way too much stuff, and the only thing left to do is to get everything in the cars (yes, multiple) and get to the Bronx in one piece.  And unpack it all.  Sigh.

Because my mother is watching Bachelor Pad, I have like five seconds to write up a little ditty for you all before I have to go drown in material objects again.  But I thought that this video was appropriate for my transition from Somers to Bronx again tomorrow.  It was brought to my attention last week by Joanna, and I think it's rather appropriate for me in many ways.  (Hint: Watch until the end!!!)


The Top 60 Ghetto Black Names


Peace out, gangsta's,
Courtney

This is Embarassing

When I was in high school, we liked to make funny videos when we hung out.  Because we didn't drink or party or act normal, so we had to find other things to entertain ourselves.  And since we were Drama Club kids (so stereotypical high school, man) we liked to act out.  Get it?  Act out?

Stop me now, please.

This is one of those videos.  I believe that it demonstrates my ridiculousness, inappropriateness (please don't watch the part where I lick the spoon...), love for cooking...?, and general belief that I am funny when I, in fact, am not.

Enjoy.

The Best of Cooking with Courtney



Love and facepalm,
Courtney

Alarm Clock, Beep-Boop-Bap-Boop-Beep

If you thought that yesterday's video was excellent, wait until you see today's video.  Did you think that you had to live with a boring alarm clock forever?  Well, not anymore.

New Alarm Clocks: Saturday Night Live



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Okay, so you can't really buy those alarm clocks.  But you CAN buy these awesome alarm clocks that Amy and I want because we're nerdy and need special alarm clocks to make us feel cool.  Even though "alarm clocks that make you feel cool" is probably some form of oxymoron.


Here's my pick:

Moshi, the alarm clock that will talk to you and be your best friend.  Okay, so I added that last part.  But all you have to do is talk to Moshi and it will do what you say!  Example:
"Good morning, Moshi." 
"Good morning." 
"What is the temperature, Moshi?" 
"Twenty-one degrees and miserable, because you're dumb enough to live in the Northeast."
"Please make my coffee, Moshi."
"..."
"Moshi?"
"..."
"MOSHI?!??"

Why I pick Moshi: Because I'm too lazy to look at the time/temperature/alarm set myself.  Because it currently takes me ten minutes to set my alarm, due to the fact that my IHome click wheels are broken.  Because I have a need to talk a lot, and Moshi will always listen.  Because I wasn't socialized enough and need as many friends as possible.

Or E, all of the above.


Here's Amy's pick:

Clocky, the alarm clock that runs away from you.  When your alarm goes off, Clocky rolls off of your nightstand and "looks" for places to hide by detecting the amount of light in any given area.  So, if you really want to snooze or shut off your alarm, you have to find Clocky first.

Why Amy picks Clocky: Amy sets "at least six alarms a day," she says, because she shuts each one off in her sleepy stupor (my words, not hers, sorry buddy).  Therefore, she needs a little booger of an alarm clock that she has to chase around the room in the morning.  Fewer alarms + early morning cardio = Amy's perfect man... er... clock.  Yeah, clock.


But neither of us knew that...

CLOCKY HAS A BROTHER!

Meet Tocky, the next version of Clocky.  I'm not really sure what's different about this one except for that you can add mp3's to it, but once again, the little stinker Tocky will roll away and hide from you when your alarm goes off.

Now Amy wants Tocky instead of Clocky because "Tocky is prettier," she says.  Tocky is also $75. 

It's not that pretty.

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We are now searching for more superfun and totally unnecessary alarm clocks.  Needless to say, there will be more to come in the near future.

Love and alarm clock mania,
Courtney

Do You Enjoy a Fancy Fly Lifestyle?

Amy and I have fallen in love with this video from SNL, and we feel that you all should be exposed to it too.  Plus, Taylor Lautner is in it.  But his hair looks really bad, and he doesn't take off his shirt.


New Doorbells: Saturday Night Live





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If you would like to see Amy's and my imitations of Tina Tina Shanuz, you may petition us here, on this blog.  And we will film them Friday night.  No, she does not know about this agreement

Psst... Tina Tina returns to SNL with Alarm Clocks and More... will post tomorrow.

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In other matters, I'm watching Teen Mom, and this is how Gary proposed to Amber for like the fifty-ninth time:
Gary: "Okay, so we're getting married."
Amber:  "You have to ask me if I will marry you."
Gary: "You'll marry me."
Amber: "No, you have to ask me."
Gary: "Okay, you wanna get married?"
Amber: "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU ASK!  You have to say 'will you'."
Gary: "Okay I'll say it exactly how you want, fieeeene."
Amber: "Gareeeeeyyyyyy!"
Gary: *resigned" "Will you marry me?"
Amber: *forlorn* "Sure...."

I love Teen Mom.

Love and reality television,
Courtney

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

As Fo'Schiessl Fest comes to a close, it is time to pack up and leave our lovely place on the beach.  However, the Forces of Nature that I grappled with earlier in the week decided to give us a parting gift, as documented above.

Full farewell entry to come... after I pack my clothes.  If someone had told me I would spend every day in my bathing suit, I would have packed far less.

Love and five perfectly clean (aka, unused) shirts,
Courtney

Who came up with this ad, man?

I was just trying to watch the baby episode of Bethenny Getting Married? when this rather disturbing Geico ad came on my screen.  I don't understand who thought this was an excellent idea.



The pig in this ad is so unnecessary.  They should have just stuck with the gecko.  Thank you, Geico, for preventing me from going to bed right now. 

I would rather blame my poor choices on insurance companies than admit that I have a problem with reality television.

Love and really creeped out,
Courtney